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Loading ...Social anxiety or fear of women?
Ever since I broke up with my ex-fiancee three years ago, I have been unbelievably uncomfortable around women. Some would call this social anxiety, but I can carry on a conversation fine and can be with people.
My problem stems from being around physically attractive women. I am definitely attracted to women, but for some odd reason I cannot get physically close to a woman without feeling horribly uncomfortable. Even when I was engaged I had this problem. I could be intimate with her, but I never felt totally at ease in her arms.
Additionally, I am unusually aware and subconscious of a woman’s physical beauty. I have a tendency to back away a few inches when a woman gets too close to me. Are these spacial-boundary issues, as I was born three months premature and was constantly surrounded by female nurses in the premature ward (who would always have to be in close proximity to me due to my precarious premature health)?
Even before I was engaged, I had trouble being close to women.
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Tags: 10 Responses to “Social anxiety or fear of women?”
I have some idea of what you are describing, though nothing like the level of discomfort.
First, understand that being aware of a woman’s physical attributes is very natural. I deal with a lot of attractive women and when I am close I often find it hard to concentrate on what I am supposed to be doing. I attempt to hide it, but many probably are very aware of it. I try to control my eyes but I often find that they make adjustments to their clothing to “cover up” as they speak to me which makes me even more aware of their bodies.
Interestingly enough, I find if I can make a slight physical contact such as touching an arm or shoulder or chin it actually relieves much of my obsession. Of course you can’t just reach out and make physical contact at any time but there are often opportunities if you let them happen.
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see a doctor…
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I would have to say it is intelligence. Nowaday women are trying to even the score for what men in the honeymooner days did. But when the one for you comes along I feel you will be right at home.
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hmmm….u sure u aint gay ??
u could have issues but i never heard of this before …
edit ..just asked my gf and she agrees ..
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Maybe being in a close relationship scares you because you feel you don’t have the freedom and you feel trapped? Being more wary of attractive women could be because you feel you’re not good enough for them. Someone will probably answer this and say you might be gay or something, but I don’t think that unless you have feelings for men which I doubt. I say when getting into a relationship, don’t take it too fast – get to know her as a friend first then you will be attracted to her as a person more than her physical looks, and even when you do get together with someone take it slow until you feel comfortable being close to them.
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Sounds like gynephobia – the fear of women. Here is a resource for you:
http://www.phobia-anxiety.org/
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seems like something happened in your past,long after the premature thing, that is affecting you emotionally around women. could be overbearing females in your life or witnessing womenizers and you knew “the rest of the story” as paul harvey would say.
i had trouble trusting women because of all the infidelity i witnessed, or heard about, going on with many aunts and other females in the family. I saw my aunt cheat on my favorite uncle several times(she was the blood relative) and knew all of my sisters boyfriends. i had to make dealing with women a “game” to counter that. twenty three years of marriage and three kids later i still “forget” to bear gifts at times.
hope i helped!!
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There’s some good answers here. I don’t think I can add much else, except to consider how much self-confidence or self-esteem you have. Maybe if you improve on this your ‘fear’ will diminish to an acceptable point, or disappear completely. Good luck
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Maybe your fiance was abusive and mean. Some women are just plain mean. They use their looks to their advantage to get what they want so how do you know you can really trust them to be sincere? I think you shouldn’t lump all women together. How come you broke up with her? I don’t think you’ve put the full story down here.
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YOu show an awareness of the reason for your discomfort with women. It could also be a fear of intimacy which is quite common especially if you had some kind of abuse as a child. It is a subconcious fear that you may be hurt somehow. I don’t know how you would resolve this without some regular talk therapy. You need to explore it a lot each day and write your thoughts about it in a journal you keep to hlep you figure out and understnad it. Once you understand it completely it will lose its hold on you and you can gradually overcome it.
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